How to argue like water |
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One of the most common traps that all of us fall into is to defend our position against negative people who only want to tear us down. The reason why this is a trap is that most of the time the conversation dissolves into an argument, no one moves and all the conversation was good for was to make people unhappy. I am sure everyone can relate to being in a position where they have tried to make a positive suggestion and others just want to pick holes in it. We feel offended that someone is being so negative and thus in turn want to shut them down. The trap when you feel attacked and try to defend your position. A better way than "digging in to defend your position" is to turn the tables on the nay-sayers by simply conceding the argument and asking for them to come up with a better solution or argument instead. Then once he or she has made a suggestion, pick holes in their argument. Keep putting them on the defensive until either you see reason in their argument or, more likely, they start coming round to the same suggestion that you made earlier (often thinking it was their idea in the first place). This is a smart way to turn the tables quickly if you think someone is not being constructive to a conversation. It may seem at first like you are backing down, but from the outside people will see how smart and cool headed you are, thus giving you deserved credibility. In Eastern cultures, this style of argument is said to be like water. Yield when they push and push when they yield. Over time water will even wear down a rock. You will not only win more arguments, become respected but also most important of all - you will be able to remain calm. A rare commodity in these high pressure times. Would you like to be able to hold an argument with more skill and more control. click here
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